Are We There Yet

I stared at the clock with routine grogginess. Its stoic red digits challenged me, and we locked gazes for what seemed like eternity. Click. The minute digit changed from a nine to a zero, followed by a wake-up screech that could have been from a drill sergeant. The screech continued, and I rolled over with a grunt. I had learned to tune out the rhythmic reminder of my alarm clock three weeks into the school year. I am now less than three months away from graduating, and looking back, a lot has happened since. People say that time changes everything. I would also say that lack thereof changes us, too. My time is running out. I sling my backpack over my shoulder. Everyone around me is engulfed in conversation; talking about procrastinating on the math homework from last night, who is asking whom to prom, plans for the weekend, whether or not joining the new club is a good idea. In my mind, I just want to go home and sleep. I spot red digits in the corner of my vision. They see m to follow me, and this time they read â€Å"A Countdown to Graduation: 71 Days. 12 Hours. 52 Minutes. 28 Seconds †¦ 27 †¦ 26 †¦ 25 †¦Ã¢â‚¬  This was just another reminder of my finite time in this place. Soon I will move on and graduate to college, where I will stare at yet another countdown clock in the lobby of yet another school. Don’t get me wrong, I love learning. People who know me know that education is â€Å"my thing.† It’s my day job, so why shouldn’t I be good at it? However, since beginning my senior year of high school, my attitude has begun to shift dramatically. I’m the poster child for â€Å"senioritis,† and where I have never gotten a â€Å"C† on my report card thus far, somehow I’m not too surprised that I’m weaseling by with low â€Å"B†s and comments on my interim such as â€Å"working below potential.† Pure learning is enjoyable and causes the brain to grow a nd wonder. But as a senior in high school, it seems the only point of my education are those digits that represent the extent of my learning capacity. I will try desperately to raise my history grade from an 87 to a 90, just to have that â€Å"A.† But in reality, do I even know the topic well enough to represent an â€Å"A†? Do I even care? I have turned into a child who has bought into the system. No longer do I care about gaining knowledge about an unknown subject. Now, I just want to graduate. I just want to have high marks on my transcript. Maybe, when I go to college, my mindset will change again. Maybe I will start anew, with a blank slate to my name, and take advantage of new opportunities to learn. Maybe.